The original question was about how to make peace with the Tower card. It is certainly a card that brings to mind destruction and mayhem. But here's my take on it:
I see the Tower as a symbol of destruction and renovation but I think it has a more detailed back story.
|Tower card from Shadow Spirits Tarot (a deck in progress)|
To me the Tower is not bringing chaos but restoring order. Tower experiences usually occur when you've been ignoring signs to release something or start over or let go of what's no longer needed or desired in your life. For example, when you've been stuck in a dead-end job you hate for the last 20 years and you SUDDENLY get fired or the company goes out of business. Or when you've been struggling to write a manuscript for 9 nine years and SUDDENLY all of your copies of the manuscript are stolen from your car. Or when you've been ignoring signs from the Universe to make some major changes in your lifestyle and home life and SUDDENLY your home catches on fire and burns to the ground.
|Devil card from Shadow Spirits Tarot (a deck in progress)|
These are really awful (and true) scenarios but we only have ourselves to blame for them. What feels like a sucker punch from the Universe should really be expected. If we look at the order of the Major Arcana we can see this is true. What card precedes the Tower? The Devil. We are in chains -- chains we can get out of if and when we're ready. What happens when you ignore your chains for too long? The Universe will bust you outta them by any means necessary....i.e., the Tower.
|Star card from Shadow Spirits Tarot (a deck in progress)|
The rest of the story is told by the card that follows the Tower. The Star -- a nude woman emptying vessels at a lake. This suggests that after the initial shock of your life being set on track, you will experience emotional (water) healing. When we're in Tower mode, it's like we're holding full cups but never emptying them to be refilled. The Star seems to give the message, "If YOU empty your cup, the Universe won't have to do it for you."